


Hearts Breaking Even

by stylessavesmex, troubledtroop



Category: Best Song Ever - One Direction (Music Video), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Famous Harry, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, mutism due to trauma, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylessavesmex/pseuds/stylessavesmex, https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledtroop/pseuds/troubledtroop
Summary: Happy-go-lucky Harry was long gone when his heart got broken seven years ago. Growing stronger and better is what he thought could bring his old self back. He tried and he lost himself through the copious amount of work he used to deliberately drown himself in. Somehow he lands himself in the town he got his heart broken. Eventually he finds himself in the memories that haunt him. Will he want to live with the ghost of his or let the memories fade like his love for the guy that loved him?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Kristen Stewart, Troye Sivan/Harry Styles





	Hearts Breaking Even

It was a moonless summer night, darkness close to black if without the city lights and warm as a not heartfelt hug. A cold one. Another long day later, Harry settled down on the studio couch, placing a paperweight on the lyrical drafts. He sent his production team home for the night, but he stayed. Like he had been doing since the past two and a half months. 

Two years ago, when Liam came in, bearing the news that his team hired a new lyricist, Harry was scared for his career. His team was very restrictive about the musical ranges but Harry loved to experiment with the ranges. And when he learnt that his team hired a lyricist, he thought it would be someone usual and poppy but the lyrics, meaning and rhyming never suited what the team wanted.

When his team sent him the lyrics, there was chords linked in with the lyrics to make it sound colorful and fit perfect with the words that were set to sentence beauty and when he saw few of the lyrics were pre-chorded, he tried a lot of magic to the production and hit the charts. 

Ever since then, Harry insisted his team on milking the lyricist's talent, whatever it took. And the lyricist agreed. Within the next few months, Harry received more than thirty different songs from the lyricist, Lionel Baker. As Harry was kept busy, the drafts started pooling and at one point, he felt like Lionel was challenging him. Hence, he took a full three months off from the usual PR technicalities where his physical presence would be necessary, to record the songs that were subconsciously relatable but he was trying to deny that. But bless his team, bless Lionel, it’s like the 42 years old man knew his heart. But he still was going to deny that.

Currently, Harry was pulling out his commandos and towel to call it a night after a hot shower. He turned to do his night routine with the oils and creams that his stylist suggested, but he saw someone he was supposed to be. He knew, the point when he’d come to snap was so close to even measure. Yet, he tried to push it day by day since he got on X-Factor UK. He blinked down tears of vain, unseen by everyone behind the façade of a cheeky guy persona he put up, someone he used to be. Though Harry had been working himself like a robot since the past few years, these past months with the new drafts felt different when people said they loved the lyrics. Any other time Harry would take full offence to that, but since he loved it more than few of his drafts, he couldn't do anything more than agreeing and giving the lyrical credits to Lionel.

After the routine, he moved into the small staff room of the studio he hired for the few months, he was served bowl of fruits as he requested, by the night staff that was working there. Tangy, sweet and sour tastes of the mixed fruit bowl brought a genuine smile for the first time in the entire week. It was so simple to make him smile. Yet people out there think money, women and fame do things to a person and change them into someone one old friend wouldn't know. Liam thought so too, when he applied at his label, and felt so uncomfortable until they both sat together and talked. Ever since then, Liam didn't leave a chance to take full responsibility of him. Like a god-sent guardian angel, after his mum of course. 

Leaving the bowl on the dark teak coffee table, he leaned back on to the couch's head rest and let his thoughts drift like he was high. He rarely let himself do that. Since every time he did so, his imagination frame put one and one scene only on the screen. His high school's football ground. A dangerous territory that he can’t afford breaching if he wanted to stay sane for the night.

Shaking himself off those memories, he moved to his twin size bed, looking up at the dream catcher a fan gifted him, when he visited hospital for MakeAWish. She hugged him, saying, “You keep me happy through this nightmare of a treatment, so I made this for you to keep you safe from yours”. To this day, He wouldn’t admit that he cried holding her, muttering little ‘thank you’s over and over again.

Though the drifting thoughts take him back to the sweetest memory of his teenage, he calls it a nightmare. He closed his eyes to only see the football ground of his high school. He sighed, praying the dream catcher would save him from this nightmare he calls. 

It was not that he loved sports. The only sport he played was table tennis. But the football ground holds a place in his heart. Not the sport, but that one player. He closed his eyes to get a picture of that memory from his life, 10 years prior. But all he could remember was that one baby faced boy, whose hair always fell in his eyes when he jumped and ran around, kicking the ball, yet never gave up on the ball or the hair. His first love.

On the other side, in the Great Britain's Manchester, a group of children from neighborhood pooled around a guy with a guitar, on the front yard of a traditional cottage house with red door. The guy kept strumming the notes that been stuck for years. A habit. _Habit._

It was late, as late as it would take for Sun to be half way submerged in the horizon. Slowly the kids cleared, one by one, wishing the lad and his little brother a goodnight. He kept playing different songs until his brother was the only kid left. The kid was looking up at the lad who was playing the guitar like the guy hung up the moon and stars for him. Though the little guy was unaware of the entire ordeal, or chooses not to talk about it, he felt like his elder brother was his hero. From an outsider’s perspective, the 11 year old wasn’t far from the truth.

“Are we done entertaining guests of your birthday party, Eli?” The guy said, smiling back down at his little brother who looked like he was happiest boy on the planet. He was.

He nodded and signed ‘What more could I ask after having best birthday party, best gifts and best brother playing his music to me?’

Louis softened and said, signing along, “I love you, Eli. You’re happy with your party and you don’t know how happy that makes me”.

Eli acted like he was thinking a bit, fake of course, then conveying with the serious most face he can pull ‘I think I love you too’ which brought Louis down from the chair and sending Eli to pits of giggles when Louis attacked him with Tickle Monster. Somehow, Eli managed to slip away from the ruthless hands but came back to pull his brother into a tight hug, tucking himself like a koala under his brother’s chin, for Louis to fall back, facing the sky that slowly painted a blend of black and blue, where the stars shone brighter, not letting the lack of Moon that night be a flaw of nature. What he didn’t notice was his fiancé, Kristen, who stood there since the attack began, doing nothing but staring at them fondly, wishing on the falling star, to keep them away from their past. Universe is planning on it but once the obvious past exists, it never ceases haunting.

\--------------------------------------------------------

“Keep that sound as a back ground noise in the beginning and in the end. And have a silent moment after the main instrument hits the first chord. Got it?” Harry stressed with his idea which this particular production team doesn’t seem to quite get it. His previous team that he put together personally clicked so fine, even with the audience as a band. But now that their contract was over, they chose to go their own respective ways and take a break before they would be rehired for when he goes on tour.

“What about during the main vocals? Off or on?” Andy, his asst. producer asked. Main producer took off with his family, submitting leave right before the streak of pooled lyrics were put to start working on, for his next album, rest of them recorded but stay in his unreleased. They were 30 plus. Obviously, all of them won’t be able to make it to the album, right?

“Off. Rest of the song, it’s off. And the mail vocal tunes are already recorded in my voice notes. So all we need to do is work a little on the notes and record them and fit them with the instru-” Harry was interrupted by Liam. “What’s it now, Liam?” Harry sighed. Honestly, can’t blame him for being so tired and done. It was third time that his recording session was interrupted. Can’t blame Liam either for being the messenger. And it’s not like Liam minds it, he’s always hated this team so he gave no fucks when they got mad. Harry was aware of that since Liam was the first person Harry went to get criticism on the production side, because Liam was a melodies guy.

“Oh, Troye wants break up article up on the news. Just here to get your assent, or if you wanted to wait or…” Liam drifted, knowing the strategy Harry was taught. Peak moments is when you give them news. Like before Premieres, or release dates of album or a movie, or Red Carpet events; Otherwise, stay low or hibernate.

“Yes, put it up. None coming up… And oh, end the lease for this studio in a week or two. We’re going to London.” Harry explained, and before Liam could question why, “We’re both taking a break” he said, getting up from the couch and stretched.

He would’ve caught the frown and confusion on Liam’s face if he didn’t go back to talking to Andy while he had Liam standing there like a confused college student. Liam couldn’t exactly ask him why London was the chosen destination of all the other cities in the world when the period to the discussion was put at ‘Going on a break’. Because his crew didn’t have to know. Privacy is what people call it, such concept be disturbed on the fall of stalkers into the scene. Which he is willing to keep away, so couldn’t afford to take any chance, even with his own crew.

Liam only shook his head to pull out his phone and text Harry two things, so he’d check for when he’s free and also discretion purpose.

‘why London?’ and ‘dates?’

Which a few hours later were replied with only dates, completely ignoring the first query. While Liam also informed him that this ‘break’ which might as well be named as hibernation in the city, might be used for playing sympathy cards, because holy shit media is capable of manipulating, Harry started looking up places to buy in Manchester. For two reasons, it’s his hometown, it’s not Doncaster. Stupid guy and his stupid presumptions; thinking his ex wouldn’t live there, out of all the other cities in the world, such a coincidence, or misfortune?

**Author's Note:**

> Should've written this months ago but lazy person always procrastinates. Hie.  
> THANKS TO MY BETA FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME THROUGH THIS.  
> Gonna keep updating this cuz it's my fav of all the fic prompts i have. Leave kudos, comments and share this story if you like. Honest opinions please, im only 18 years old :)


End file.
